merry christmas!

love, the sailor scouts
(plus rini, sailor mini moon)

now everybody take a picture

queen zooey

queen drew

today i stumbled upon the photography of ellen von unwerth. there's nothing subtle and light about her pictures and i kind of like that. there's this broad range of boudoir and neon, but they all have this kind of vampy edge to them. like this really fantastic one of gisele bundchen grilling out wearing a lamé bikini and knocking back a bottle of wine:

get it girl.

ryan used me as an object.

the quality isn't great but the content is, for whomever is interested.

bi(bli)ography

{ i'm really in danger of OD-ing on links but this one is soooo worth it }

trust me.

everybody's a little less mysterious than they think they are. - elizabethtown

( i apologize to all who's sensibilities are offended by my liking of this movie. i lied. it wasn't just because of the soundtrack. i like the part where they play free bird and the paper mache eagle catches on fire. )

not even the the rain

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain, has such small hands

ee cummings

this makes my skin tingle. like when someone uses their

fingernails to draw patterns on the sensitive side of your

forearms and it kind of tickles but mostly it feels wonderful.

*

i love pictures like this and this. when i become famous i am going to demand that all of my photoshoots involve some kind of character acting. pictures of people just smiling are so lame to me.

unless, of course, it looks like this.

*this post was an homage. this homage was threefold: 1. to celebrities 2. to my discovery of linking 3. to new layouts.

onomatoAWESOME

lately i've become interested in exploring different mediums of print publication through which to both express myself creatively and use as a means of disseminating ideas about social justice. fortunately i've undertaken two projects with just such a scope!

the first is an independent study in zine making. zines (derived from the word "magazine") are small publications typically conceived of original or appropriated texts and images. they typically have very small circulations and are self published. this blog for instance serves as a kind type of virtual zine. i can combine pictures of lebron james, pablo neruda poetry and sailor moon metaphor.

last summer i created a zine around the central theme of "why i am not good at being a girl." the scope of this particular zine was to explore conventional ideas of femininity and how i don't feel expressive of them. i used images from a variety of magazines and from a book on 1960s hair salons. i used an old type writer to juxtapose images with text. the final flourish was a photocopier which bound all the images and text together in a distributable format.

not only was i satisfied with the end product but there is something incredibly fulfilling about the construction of the zine. so, this spring i'll be conducting an independent study with emily tipps about the history/evolution of zines and contemporary styles of zine publication.

the second print publication i've developed an interest in is graphic novels. last spring yates and i read the watchmen in an attempt to start a book club. the book club did not endure but my interest in graphic novels did. it's a kind of mixed media approach to literature that allows a writer to tell a narrative in a kind of comic book form. one graphic novel, masterpiece comics (which i've just ordered), adapts a variety of classic literary works into a comic book idiom.

what's really freakin' sweet (pardon zee vernacular) is that a project i've undertaken with creative campus is going to allow me the opportunity to use graphic novel creation as a community outreach and education tool. and has already put me in contact with nick sousanis, a sequential artist out of new york who's currently working on a masters in education at columbia university.

i've always loved words and the way that they're used to tell stories and convey ideas. i like to crack open the spine of book three fourths of the way through, without regard for plot, and just luxuriate in the way a sentence is put together. diction and syntax are art forms unto themselves.

this is really up there with the sailor moon post and i don't even apologize for that.

bam! pow! oscar wilde!

last name ever, first name greatest

oh ok.

two for the show

when i was 14 i saw the film the fellowship of the ring in theaters. from that moment on i was an adolescent possessed. i scoured the internet ravenously searching for details and insight into the film's composition. it had a lot to do with my unwavering love of the lord of the rings book trilogy.

but there was another element to my addiction. as i scoured the internet i began to encounter terms such as cinematography, editing, actor's portrayal, etc. i'd never metabolized a film before, broken it into parts. i'd always just consumed the work as a whole, and if i liked it i assumed i just liked the movie.

i saw the film in theaters 4 times. each time i encountered another aspect that i loved. the second time it was the score, the third maybe it was costuming, the fourth i was brought to tears at viggo mortensen's portrayal of aragorn.

the fellowship of the ring was the beginning of a still present passion for film. it was the beginning of my relentless desire to go see and watch movies. the feeling i get when i see a film that i truly connect with - based either on artistic merit or emotional relevance - is nothing short of euphoria.

he liked it.

so he put a ring on it. :).

on september 19th 2009 christopher lee jackson asked me to marry him.

and on may 22nd 2010 i'm gonna do just that.

finally, a summarization of my feelings

"i've mostly been listening to dirty rap lately. that's sort of my scene. really, really obscene hip-hop. i love it so much. it makes me laugh and then it makes me want to dance."

- natalie portman, in the new issue of interview magazine

http://www.interviewmagazine.com/film/natalie-portman/

weezy, allergic to wintertime

my college experience can be summarized somewhat accurately by the following scenarios: 

1. the first time i was photographed in the crimson white i was dressed as bellatrix lestrange, a deranged witch from the harry potter series. i had on a wig and a dress titled by its creator as "vampire countess."

2. the second time i was photographed in the crimson white i had a bright blue butterfly on my face and was accredited, along with yates, as having sang two original songs. these songs were in fact written by patty griffin. 

WIN.

to date, senior year has included: 

1. a run from the car to the rec in which pends and i got drenched. we subsequently dried our pants off in the women's locker room using the swimsuit dryer.  this entailed us standing sans pants in rain jackets for the duration of the dry time. 

2. accidently going to a class in ten hoor 114 instead of ten hoor 119.  the teacher asked how many people were freshmen and everyone raised their hand. i then got up and walked out. for me it seems, crimson is illegible handwriting. 

3. copious amounts of kettle corn. 

4. two viewings of the film inglourious basterds. 

5. a humongous girl crush on zooey deschanel, culminating in my proposition of marriage to her via my blog title and also my twitter account. it is also listed under my activities on facebook. zooey, if you're reading this, call me. 

6. discovering with great enthusiasm, textsfromlastnight. i laughed so hard trying to regale kate, reagan and ruth with one that snot came out of my nose. 

also i watched a movie on nanook of the north. the first documentary about an eskimo who ultimately died of starvation. 

rollll tide. 

zooey deschanel, will you marry me?

just so that we're clear as to why i am about to chop blunt bangs and dye my hair brown, make chris wear vests and start sprawling out on blankets in the midst of tall golden wheat grass:

glad we can all be on the same page here.

japanese media franchises and you

this is by far the most incriminating blog post i've ever written.  should it be a pertinent aspect of our friendship that i not have had a pre-adolescent fanatical obsession with a dubbed japanese style cartoon then i beseech you to cloak yourself in ignorance and exit this blog.

i warned you.

last week while i was in tuscaloosa chris found out that i used to watch sailor moon. more accurately, sailor moon was the anime predecessor to buffy. before i was obsessed with the chosen one i was obsessed with an anime cartoon who proclaimed to punish villains "in the name of the moon."

in this way i didn't choose feminism. through the all compelling power of modern day television feminism chose me.  sailor moon, or serena tsukino (usagi tsukino for you native japanese speakers) and buffy summers taught me everything i know. namely that girls rule. and also that at some point in my life someone will come to me and awaken a power in me which is intended to save all the world. and also the universe. 

but i digress. 

so for whatever reason chris became oddly intrigued with my sailor moon fascination and jokingly encouraged me to revisit it.  SO I DID.  i found myself on the three hour drive home remembering plot arcs, supporting characters and favorite episodes. 

that's when i came to the glorious realization that the members of my close circle of girl friends align almost perfectly with that of the sailor scouts, or the titular character's close circle of girl friends. by casting myself in the role of sailor moon, which i am allowed to do as this is my symbolic representation, i can then cast kristin, yates, anna and kate similarly in the roles of the sailor scouts. 

behold:

sailor jupiter/kristin mcdonald

sailor jupiter or lita is characterized by being fiercely loyal and the strongest defender of the sailor scouts.  she is emotionally very tough and is often the one who defends sailor moon both in battle and in everyday life. she is also described as a very good cook. her powers deal primarily with thunder. and, get this, she ALWAYS wears green. 

 

sailor mars/sarah yates

sailor mars or raye is characterized as being the more calm, serious and practical of the sailor scouts.  she enjoys singing and works as a priestess in a temple.  although reserved raye is passionate about the things she believes in.  physically not only does she wear capstone red, she is also the only scout to wear high heels (red) when transformed. her powers deal primarily with fire. 

sailor mercury/anna pendleton

sailor mercury or amy is the most intelligent of the sailor scouts. her quick wit and impeccable assessment are invaluable through the whole series. wikipedia informs me she has an iq of 300.  get it girl. she is the scout with the sweetest disposition and remains unfailingly kind.  her powers deal primarily with water.

sailor venus/kate sparks

sailor venus or mina is the most caring of the sailor scouts and is heavily invested in her friendships. she is continually upbeat and is almost always cheerful and outgoing.  she has a large interest in pop culture which she shares with sailor moon.  she always wears a red hair bow (it was given to her by a cute boy). uniquely, her powers are not elemental and deal primarily with love.

so there you go.  

i'll probably delete this. 

but probably not. 

get it gurl

"i have nothing to declare except my genius."
- oscar wilde, to a us customs officer upon his arrival to new york

i am so busy all the time

to do:

go see away we go in theaters by myself
buy costume for midnight premiere of harry potter
become all consumingly obsessed with a song of ice and fire
close account at suntrust
order books for fall semester
watch all of family guy season 7

no rest for the productive i tell you.

sometimes i write stories about myself

so this girl and this boy live in paris. 

and she's a ballet dancer right? 

and he's a musician. 

and she's french and he's american.

but he writes this piano piece.

and she dances to it see?

and now they are in like.

winter is coming

when i find myself engaged in too many mediums of sci/fi fantasy consumption i tend to dwell long and often on the notion that if i don't find a portal into an alternate reality full of mythical and fantastic creatures soon i am going to consider hallucinogenic drugs. 

this is such a time. 

in the past month i have: read 1.5 novels in the song of ice and fire series, watched 1.1 seasons of buffy and 1 episode of angel, watched the lion, the witch and the wardrobe 3 times (we watched it with the kids in africa), seen star trek in the theater for the 3rd time and perused the web for fleur delacour costume ideas for the july 15th midnight premiere of the half blood prince.

like don't even talk to me about current social and/or political issues because unless it has to do with who will sit the iron throne or the responsibilities of the chosen one or unless it can be accessed by traveling through a piece of seemingly ordinary furniture I WILL HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO RELATE TO IT.  

joy comes with the morning

a year ago today i was sitting in the waiting room at emory university hospital. a phone call from the operating room had just informed my family that the first incision had been made on my dad's arterial valve replacement and thoracic aneurysm removal surgery.

a year ago today i cried more than i ever have in my whole life.

and today my mom and dad are eating together at ihop. my sister has finished watching season one of buffy with me. my brother is working with little kids as a camp counselor. i'm getting ready to drive to tuscaloosa to see my sweet boyfriend and wonderful friends. i am eager and excited.

because joy always wins.

lil dez

this is how i would act given the opportunity to meet lebron: 

sumama ka

ello little mzungus!

that's what the tanzanians call white people. it is literally the word "white". it's not offensive like "cracker" or "wangsta" because i asked our translator reuben. it's purely descriptive.

the title "sumama ka" is in reference to a children's song that translates into "stand up, sit down." and that's what you do the whole song. oh and also you "ruka, ruka, ruka" or "jump, jump, jump." who be needin' spongebob?

i cannot articulate what my trip to tanzania meant to me. i wish there was a concise way that i could summarize what that place and its people taught me. but i can't. so you'll just have to hang out with me. because it's something i have to vocalize. i have to be able to look you in the eye and gesticulate wildly with my hands - because that's the character of the experience that i had over there.

that and a whole lot of standing up and sitting down and jumping.

and also, anna, i feel the need to make this announcement via the blogosphere because i truly laughed until i thought i might pee when i found this out:

jamba means fart in swahili.

heh. fart juice.

for i long to see you

tomorrow i will take an 18 hour plane ride to dar es salaam, tanzania.  i cannot wait. i feel like the holy spirit is just shimmering in anticipation all around me. like i could reach out and run my fingers through it. 

there is the possibility that i will have access to email while i'm over there. the email address i'll be using is sarahtanzania@yahoo.com - leave your email address as a comment and i'll try to send a mass forward out :).

see you the 20th. 

people on the river are happy to give

today on the way home from the lake it was just my mom, my dad and me in the car. my mom was driving and my dad quickly dozed off while i sat in the backseat with the recyclables and my ipod.  for some reason it made me felt childlike. my two parents in the front seat and me in the backseat swinging my feet along to tina turner's proud mary. i felt safe nestled there with the assorted glass and plastics. 

which i guess it what a lot of my summer in chattanooga has been so far. really sweet moments in a place i called home for so many years.  i love the person that i've become since i've lived in tuscaloosa but this past week i've come to cherish the experience that i had growing up here.  i like that i can come back here and lay on a blanket in the park with my friends listening to their stories and remembering how cool they are.  i like doing partner yoga with jo beth.  i like buying strawberries with my mom to make smoothies with my dad. i like watching cavaliers games with my brother and painting my toenails with my sister.  

i've written before how my homecoming has been an eery experience in which i am forced to reconcile who i am with the person i was when i left for school.  but more and more i am just relishing the joy that this town and the people in it bring me.  and i love that kristin can come and wander the halls of gps with me while i blubber about how much i loved mr. warren's ninth grade history class. 

i guess i'm just feeling so grateful that i have so many homes and so many people to love. 

pleasant surprises

Regina Spektor - Laughing With

i cried listening to this song today. the lyrics are so haunting and the melody is so pretty. 

i've also become obsessed with coeur de pirate (french for "heart of a pirate"), she's this french girlie named béatrice martin. emma merritt told me bout her. i've finally found a use for my understanding of the french music in her pretty piano songs! and the video for "comme des enfants" (like the children), is so sweet:

:)

love

for those of you who know me well you know that tuesday concluded roughly eight months of work i've done on a documentary film project.  the documentary, entitled canaries in the mine, focuses on the loss of alabama's black farmers and what this means for the state. however, one of the other thematic arcs is the idea of preserving rural community within alabama. 

because so much of my time was devoted to this project i was continually trying to metabolize the idea of community and it's importance.  i would come home from interviewing these amazing people who were essentially watching their communities disappear and my heart would just be so burdened for them.  

then one night i was reading through john and i came to the part in chapter 17 when jesus is praying.  he says to our Father: 

my prayer is not for them [the disciples] alone. i also pray 

for them that will believe in me through their message, 

that all of them may be one, father, just as you are in me and

i am in you.  may they also believe in us so that the

world may believe that you have sent me. 

john 17:20-21

it was through reading this that i came to understand that it is our obligation to create, construct, participate and foster loving Christ-centered community.  Jesus indicates here that by doing so we are a testament to the world that the Lord sent Christ to die. 

pagans can love people who love them.  they can encourage and support people who support and encourage them.  non-believers can like people who speak the same, act the same and dress the same as they do.  

but we are called to something so much greater than that. we are called to love and be in community with those who despise us. i sometimes don't do a good job of loving and fostering community among my friends.  

but i want to be so much more than an ordinary human being who gravitates towards and loves the people who share my ideologies and habits.  i want to love all those around me. i want people to feel the joy of God-breathed relationships. i want the way that i interact with people to be a testament to the Father that loves me.  

happy birthday katie!

the wilderness and the solitary place shall be glad

for them; and the the desert shall rejoice, 

and blossom as the rose. 

isaiah 35:1 

i like to think that God and all my brothers and sisters

in heaven dance all day in flowers like these in heaven

they just dance and laugh and worship with 

joy at the glory of redemption

bring on next week!

lay your blouse across the chair

let fall the flowers from your hair

and kiss me with that country mouth so plain

outside the rain is tapping on the leaves

to me it sounds like they're applauding us

for the quiet love we've made.

- ray lamontagne, empty

i am so excited about seeing him live next monday! woo hoo!

thank you katie!! :) 

and then. they day after that. there's this little film screening 

i'd like you all to come to. i may or may not have spent

THE ENTIRE YEAR working on a film that will screen that day.

here's the trailer (mine's the farming one):

(but they're all so stinking good!)

girl crushes

they're just so cute! and pretty!

governments should be afraid of their people

i'm doing this project on nigerian afrobeat artist fela kuti and it's so incredible.  this man started a commune/clinic/recording studio called the kalakuta republic.  just through producing music he was able to ignite the people of nigeria against their corrupt militaristic government. 

somehow the military was able to obtain a warrant for his arrest and they raided the republic. they had with them a cannabis joint they intended to plant on him.  he discerned their plot and literally swallowed the joint whole. they then took him into custody where they intended to examine his feces.  however, another inmate in the prison literally gave him their feces and he was released without charge or harm.  

he then released this song called "zombie."  it was a metaphor to describe the methods of the nigerian military.  soon after the republic was raided and his elderly mother was thrown through a window sustaining fatal injuries. fela himself was beaten almost to death.  

but he continued to speak out against the government and produce music which served as indictments of their corruption.  in 1986 he would join bono and the neville brothers onstage at amnesty international's conspiracy of hope concert in new jersey. 

in 1979 he even put himself forward for the nigerian presidency. it was the first presidential election they'd had in over a decade.  he was denied the ability to run. 

fela died of kaposi's sarcoma brought on by aids on august 3, 1997. while he had his share of flaws (some of his songs have strong misogynistic themes) he took art and music and used it to elevate social consciousness and to hold his government accountable to the ideas of human rights and justice.

what a beautifully, beautifully lived life. 

carol brown just took a bus out of town

thus far the easter weekend has been a veritable cornucopia of wondrous occurrences!  first of all, honor's day my whole family came down to watch the ceremony. and let's be honest. those things are lame.  but they came anyway.  sometimes i am blessed beyond my own comprehension.  

then, as if that wasn't enough i got to go see flight of the conchords last night at the ryman. and it was sheer bliss. kristen shaal, who plays the character mel on the show, opened for them and was wearing gold sequin encrusted bermuda shorts.  then the band came out and was just this unstoppable force of wit and new zealand accents.  i couldn't find a set list online, nor is my memory good enough to recount it but here's what i remember: 

too many dicks on the dancefloor

business time

i've got hurt feelings

the human's are dead

jenny

albi the racist dragon

doin' it

most beautiful girl 

motha'uckas 

if you're into it

the ballad of stana

girlfriends of the past

they're may have been more. they encored twice!

anyway, then chris and i drove home to chattanooga and on the way we just had one of those on the road conversations that i love where you have enough time to talk to someone so you can just be elaborate and vulnerable. there were periods where we sat in silence and listened to u2 and patty griffin and then we'd think of something else we wanted to talk about. it was perfect.

this was one of the songs we listened to and i thought it was so appropriate in light of easter: 

the earth was shaking in the dark 

all creation felt the father's broken heart

tears were filling heaven's eyes

the day that true love died, the day that true love died

when blood and water hit the ground

walls we couldn't move came crashing down

we were free and made alive

the day that true love died, the day that true love died

now jesus is alive. 

- phil wickham, true love died

that last line he just sings over and over and it's building and it just fills my heart with such joy. it's amazing to me how easily the astounding miracle that is christ's death and resurrection fades into the obscurity of my subconscious.  but i am so eternally thankful that my neglect changes nothing about the beauty of the sacrifice.  happy easter everyone!

why this watch is exactly two days slow!

johnny depp and tim burton 

johnny depp's trial mock up for 

his portrayal of the mad hatter in

tim burton's alice in wonderland.

i die.

lolcatz

see more Lolcats and funny pictures


see more Lolcats and funny pictures


see more Lolcats and funny pictures

you're beautiful

lately i've been listening to phil wickham's beautiful on repeat.  his entire singalong album is incredible, nearly every hymn he sings chokes me up.  but beautiful is one of the ones he's written and the imagery in it pertaining to christ and the beauty of his creation is so wonderful. the final verse is my favorite because it references one of my favorite metaphors in scripture and that's the church as the bride of christ:

when we arrive at eternity's shore

where death is just a memory and tears are no more

we'll enter in as the wedding bells ring

your bride will come together and we'll sing

you're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful

then thursday night whilst everyone was shaking their booties at viking cocktail a group of people gathered together and watched return of the king. now i'm going to geek out on you for a minute here.  but there's a pivotal scene in the battle of pelennor fields where eowyn, who is a woman, kills the king of the nazgûl.  right before she slays him there's this fantastic dialogue, and it's better in the book than in the movie so it's what i've included here: 

"a cold voice answered, 'come not between the nazgûl and his prey! or he will not slay thee in thy turn.  he will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shriveled mind be left naked to the lidless eye.'

a sword rang as it was drawn, 'do what you will; but i will hinder it, if i may.' 

'hinder me? thou fool. no living man may hinder me!'

then merry heard of all sounds in that hour the strangest. it seemed that the dernhelm laughed, and the clear voice was like the ring of steel. 'but no living man am i! you look upon a woman. eowyn i am, eodmund's daughter, you stand between me and my lord and kin.  begone if you be not deathless! for living or dark undead, i will smite you if you touch him.'"

- the return of the king, the battle of pelennor fields

to tie that in, shane explained that here eowyn represents the bride of christ, or the church, and she is overcoming the great darkness of earth.  i just love that image.  the church slaying this embodiment of evil.  

i totes understand if nobody understood this post. i considered deleting it because i'm afraid i'm the only one who would like it. but i did just transcribe half a page of tolkien at two in the morning. so i decided not to. 

sigh

2dew list

finish documentary film
read articles on artistic collectivization
drink a dr. pepper, shweppes and coke within an hour of each other
take two naps in one day
study for test on wednesday
do madlibs with katie k, jameson and kate instead of aforementioned studying
hide jameson's shoes on top of the dvd player

so i mean all in all not doing too badly.

what i think heaven will be like

in a way this video compliments what kristin blogged about. i love the idea of recapturing childlike wonder, especially as it pertains to our Father and heaven and faith and love.  

elucidation

it was mentioned tonight at our girly dinner (without our beloved anna) that it's hard to even conceive of blogging, or even talking, about the spring break we spent in new york. just now however, i was reading the names, a novel by don delillio i randomly selected at b&n solely based on the cover art, and i found this passage that encapsulates how i feel about new york: 

"no matter how remote you are, how far into the mountains or islands, how deep-ended you are, how much you want to disappear, there is still the element of shared culture, the feeling that we know these people, come from these people.  something beyond this is familiar as well, some mystery. often i feel i'm on the edge of knowing what it is." 

the whole time were were there i just felt such community.  and it could be that physically i was surrounded by people all the time.  but i also think there was such a beautiful comfort in going to somewhere so far removed from my own geographical experience and still feeling connected to and of that place.

and i honestly can't tell say why.

ode to the coens

i just watched no country for old men for the first time ever. astounding though it is that i somehow missed the academy gem of 2008 - i have to admit that i don't think i would've liked it nearly as much had i seen it a year ago. not that i've had any clearly relevant life experiences that would predispose me to like it more - i just don't think i would've. 

but i loved it. everything about it. movies like that are why i love film. 

i won't begin to enumerate the reasons that i loved it as i realize i am considerably late in jumping on that bandwagon. but as an incentive to talk to me about it i assure you i liked it for reasons well beyond javier bardem's acting performance (though impeccable) and the cinematography (beautiful).  

tangential to that thought however is the fact that i now i want to see everything javier bardem has ever done. having seen vicky cristina barcelona and no country for old men within mere weeks of each other i am a little overwhelmed with his skill as an actor. and while a perfunctory glance at his imdb page reveals that the majority of his roles are spanish speaking ones i still want to see them all. 

and what the hay, i'll go ahead and try and see everything the coen brothers have ever done too. thus far i've only seen miller's crossing (though this might merit a re-watch as it was for high school film club), the big lebowski, o brother where art thou?, paris je t'aime, burn after reading and now no country for old men.  i tend to really like the tones and thematic elements of their films. 

but more importantly i'll be in new york this time next week. 

rich by popular demand

one of the things i really like about coming to the summit, that i feel i am afforded by being from tennessee, is that i have almost completely anonymity.  there is little to no fear of my running into family friends, high school teachers or people who used to babysit me.

so if i want to sit here hammering away at the keys of my chic white laptop in an attempt to make the middle school softball girls two tables down from me than i am the alabamian incarnate of carrie bradshaw then i can. cause them hos don't know me. 

this pseudo thespian behavior in unfrequented locales is a very common thing for me to adopt. there is a certain thrill in the fact that in an environment where no one knows you you have complete artistic freedom in who you are as a person. you can essentially - with the right amount of high school theater classes - be whoever you want. 

all this to say that while all of you are in new orleans - yucking it up with brad and angelina and those drinks that are modeled after weaponry - know i that i am here in the birmingham panera trying to make middle school girls that i do not know think that i am awesome. 

i'll probably go to barnes and nobles soon and peruse the travel books in an attempt to convince someone that i am like scarlett johansson's character in vicky cristina barcelona. 

he gave power to the have nots, and then came the shot

it makes me sad that danny boyle didn't address the issue of Indian poverty in his acceptance of the best director award last night at the oscars.  especially when compared to how often milk provided a platform for individuals to speak about sexual equality.  i do think there's a certain amount of accountability in narrative film, even though it may not be as socially conscious as documentary film.  this is especially true for films such as slumdog millionaire, in which main plot arcs are based on the idea of injustice or inequality. 

edmund luvs fanny

after watching mansfield park i was inspired to read really classic literature in copious amounts. so, i filled up the bath tub and dumped in these lavender bath salts my parents gave me for valentines. queued up some claude debussy on pandora. lit me some candles. and hauled the collected tales and poems of edgar allan poe into the bathroom (another valentine's day gift from sweet chris). 

don't be surprised if i continuously attempt to pepper the conversation with allusions to the fall of the house of usher. or the pit and pendulum. or something. it's what fanny price would do. because she is awesome. 

the ghost of lisa fremont

this is an image of jimmy stewart, grace kelly and alfred hitchcock on the set of rear window. i decided to watch it tonight in a moment of nostalgia. sometimes i can't stand that i wasn't alive during the days of gregory peck and sophia loren.  when i could wear red lipstick and an outfit composed predominately of tulle to dinner on a weeknight. perhaps i'm romanticizing the era. but anyone who's watched my fair lady when audrey hepburn descends the stairs at the embassy ball knows what i'm talking about.

and i'll follow you into the dark

monday night my professor shared an anecdote that i'll remember forever.

it was about the rescue dogs used on 9/11.  unlike the firefighters themselves these dogs were unable to wear respirators and still effectively perform their job.  so even though they were outfitted with fire resistant outfits and asbestos boots, there was no protecting them from the eventual death by suffocation.  but instead of resisting entry into the chaos, these dogs continued to sniff for humans trapped in the rubble. because it was what they had been trained to do. and most of them died in the process. 

i don't care how irrelevant that seems. it choked me up then and it chokes me up now. it perfectly illustrates sacrifice to me. to be so committed to the ultimate end that the world burning around me is not enough to stop.  

shnobbery

dear hollywood, 

do not make movies whose sole comedy is a segway personal transporter.  while i agree that segway personal transporters can be wonderfully complementary tools of hilarity (see gob bluth in arrested development) i cannot advocate relying on them to carry an entire movie.  i will not. i will leave and watch the end of the curious case of benjamin button for the third time. 

sincerely, 

your mom

translated by w.s. merwin

the big trees on the other side of her, uprooted.

but you, cloudless girl, question of smoke, corn tassel. 

you were what the wind was making with illuminated leaves.

behind the nocturnal mountains, white lily of conflagration, 

ah, i can say nothing! you were made of everything.

- pablo neruda, almost out of the sky